Review of THE WEDDING PLANNER

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Review by Mark Dujsik

The Wedding Planer may be one of the most cheerfully unamusing movies in a long time. It plays like a bad sitcom, and it takes the already stale romantic-comedy genre to a new low. How anyone thought the gags would be funny is a complete and total mystery. Maybe that’s where the fun of the movie lies: trying to figure out who thought this idea would work.

Jennifer Lopez plays Mary Fiore, the wedding planner of the title. She can’t find a man (that’s a good one) and so her philosophy, "Those who can’t wed, plan." She’s the best in her field, and she displays her talent in one scene by shooting off fancy ideas to a rich couple that obviously has no interest in what she’s talking about. Eventually, Mary comes across an account that could gain her a partnership. It’s the daughter of the before-mentioned rich couple.

Now, the real arch of the story comes when Mary gets her high-heel stuck in a manhole. She doesn’t want her shoe to be stuck there for a second longer, because (gasp!) it may be rolled over by an oncoming dumpster. I imagine the director of the movie telling Lopez her motivation for this scene. She would probably have asked, "Why would I risk my life for a shoe?" to which the director would respond, "It’s in the script!" Also, we wouldn’t have a movie, because she must be saved by the handsome, laid-back pediatrician Dr. Steve Edison (Matthew McConaughey).

For some reason, she finds him attractive as a human being, and they go to a movie played on the side of a museum. I’m not sure what movie, but it was probably better than this one. But I digress and must get back to the story. They dance, almost kiss, and call the date on account of rain (literally). Now, if you know anything about movies, it’s obvious this man-of-her-dreams is taken, but here’s the twist: He’s engaged to the rich daughter! I lied. There’s no twist.

What follows is a series of running-gags and just plain dumb ideas that don’t even make the predictable material entertaining. Example: There’s a scene involving a statue’s genitalia and some super-glue. I don’t know how they got this joke to go wrong, but it does. It’s predictable, tedious, and disturbing and so is the rest of the movie. Still, beyond the gags, the major problem of the movie is the fact that Mary and Dr. Steve are not a good pairing. He’s a jerk, and she deserves better.

Lopez is a very charming actress. I enjoyed her performances in Out of Sight and The Cell, but she is wasted here. Anyone could have brought the same qualities to the role, but no one could have saved it. McConaughey is completely miscast. I didn’t believe for one minute that any parent would trust him with the health of their child. The only person to escape unscathed from this thing is Judy Greer who plays Mary‘s assistant Penny. She has appeared in small roles in Three Kings and What Women Want, and she had the lead role in the horrendous Jawbreaker. She is a very funny and talented actress, and she is worthy of much better material.

The final frames of the movie serve as a perfect metaphor for the whole. In them, the lettering of a very fancy "The End" starts to appear. It takes a little less than a minute (I kid you not) for the whole phrase to appear. The whole movie is like this sequence. We know what’s coming, it’s dragged on far too long, and the whole time, it doesn’t even entertain. But it still goes on and on and on...

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