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SATANIC PANIC
Director: Chelsea Stardust Cast: Hayley Griffith, Rebecca Romijn, Ruby Modine, Arden Myrin, AJ Bowen, Jordan Ladd, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Jerry O'Connell, Michael Polish, Hannah Stocking, Whitney Moore, Skeeta Jenkins, Mike E. Winfield MPAA
Rating: Running Time: 1:25 Release Date: 9/6/19 (limited) |
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Review by Mark Dujsik | September 5, 2019 You can almost sense the desperation for laughs coming from Satanic Panic. The premise itself is kind of amusing: A pizza delivery driver unintentionally ends up in the middle of a Satanic ritual being performed by the rich people in town. It's an obvious dig at those with unearned wealth, but then again, going for the obvious is this movie's primary method. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes the obvious targets need to be taken down a notch or two again and again, but this movie, the debut feature of director Chelsea Stardust, pretty much ends its satirical attack on lazy, entitled elites with the setup. They're not just narcissistic and greedy and uncaring. The only reason they have money is because of a deal with the devil. Into a den of affluent devil-worshippers enters Samantha (Hayley Griffith), nicknamed "Sam." She recently got a job delivering pizzas from Duncan (AJ Bowen), a guy who doesn't hide his sleazy intentions. After a tip-less day, Sam takes one last job to a mansion. She's denied a tip there, too, and when she sneaks into the house looking for some gas money, Sam finds herself the planned virgin sacrifice for a ritual being organized by Danica (Rebecca Romijn). The story, from screenwriter Grady Hendrix, has Sam running around the neighborhood, trying to escape sacrificial death in the summoning of a demon. Along the way, she encounters Danica's husband (played by Jerry O'Connell), who's also scheduled as a sacrifice and offers to take Sam's virginity (by force, if necessary, which is played as a joke), and the rich woman's daughter Judi (Ruby Modine), whom Sam saves from an attempted murder involving a giant drill-cum-sex toy. In the between the over-the-top and mostly tasteless gags, the screenplay is peppered with various pop-culture references (Few land, and a couple don't match the context of what's happening) and a lot of gore effects—from a whole arm shoved into a bullet wound, to an internal-organ soufflé, to an evisceration through a guy's mouth. It's all gross, and yes, since that's entirely the point, the movie does its job in that regard. Because of the shallow and repetitive humor, though, the blood and gore and literal guts seem to be central point of Satanic Panic. The movie tries so hard to be shocking and funny that it never is either. Copyright © 2019 by Mark Dujsik. All rights reserved. |
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