OUR LITTLE SECRET - Mark Reviews Movies

Our Little Secret, Netflix

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Review by Mark Dujsik | November 27, 2024

It's not a complicated or elaborate plan that sets the plot of Our Little Secret into motion. It is an incredibly dumb and completely unnecessary one, though, and how are we supposed to care about characters who think it's a good idea?

The basic setup tells us about a romance between Avery (Lindsay Lohan) and Logan (Ian Harding), who were childhood friends, became more than that, and seemed like a couple destined to be together. Then, Avery's mom died, making her re-evaluate everything in and about her life, and she took a job in London. Logan couldn't handle the thought of her leaving, so at a farewell party, he attempted to propose to Avery, who rejected it before he could even finish the full question. He had a tantrum, and she ended the relationship.

Ten years later (A montage of time progressing is very questionable in what's selected as the most significant event of each passing year, especially since two of those events are convenient bits of promotion for the streaming service on which this movie is being released), Avery has a successful career in business and a new boyfriend in Cameron (Jon Rudnitsky). Meanwhile, Logan also has a successful career in architecture and a new girlfriend in Cassie (Katie Baker).

Everything seems fine for each of them, as they prepare to spend the Christmas holiday at the family home of their respective partners. Unbeknownst to Avery or Logan, Cameron and Cassie are siblings, meaning the former lovers are going to be spending about a week under the roof after having nothing to do with each other for a decade.

It's uncomfortable, of course, but what would you—yes, specifically you, reading this right now—do under these circumstances? Take a moment to contemplate it. Sure, there are many other things you could be doing or thinking about other than trying to prove a point about how ludicrous the premise of a romantic comedy is, but it does feel necessary to do this little thought experiment.

Have you thought of a solution to this little conundrum? Well, some of you normal, well-adjusted folks are probably thinking this isn't that big of a deal. In fact, it's kind of funny when coincidences like this emerge, isn't it? You probably imagine saying something like, "Well this is weird," and explaining that the two of you dated ten years ago. Everyone laughs and says it is strange and nods their heads at the odd coincidence, and that's the end of it.

Others, like Avery and Logan, might not want people to know the two of you dated, so they don't mention it. The two of you obviously know each other, though, because the shocked reaction upon seeing each other is obvious to everyone, so maybe you'll just say you grew up in the same town and were friends. Everyone chuckles and says it's a pleasant coincidence, and that's the end of it.

With that little experiment out of the way, here's what Avery and Logan do. They decide to pretend they never dated, never met despite living in the same town for a couple of decades, and are only meeting each other just now. Why do they do this? As Avery puts it, she doesn't want these family and friends to think about her and Logan having sex more than a decade ago.

That's one way to think of it, perhaps, or at least it is in a stupid romantic comedy like this, in which no one acts like a normal person and everything has to be a source of either conflict or humor. Some of the things that happen here include Avery accidentally eating THC-infused gummies before telling the Nativity story at church, Logan and Avery being blackmailed by their respective partners' younger sibling Callum (Jake Brennan), and Avery eating a dozen cookies, trying to blame it on the dog so Cameron's judgmental mother (played by Kristin Chenoweth) doesn't judge her more, and then attempting to convince a vet that he has pumped the dog's stomach. Oh, Logan's grandmother has dementia, by the way. While that might seem like a random piece of information to bring up in the context of terrible jokes and bad plotting, wouldn't it be even worse if, somehow, that poor woman's health crisis turns out to be a source for both a gag and a complication in the story?

Our Little Secret starts on a foolish, gratuitous bit of setup and somehow finds ways to make even less sense. That's some kind of accomplishment, at least.

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