IN THE LOST LANDS - Mark Reviews Movies

In the Lost Lands, Vertical

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Review by Mark Dujsik | March 6, 2025

The world of In the Lost Lands is so boldly bonkers that one has to admire it on some level. It's not often that we see a post-apocalyptic future that makes logical sense, so here's a team of filmmakers abandoning sense and logic almost completely to give us their strange view of what a world after the end of civilization might be like.

Surely, the fact that the movie is based on a relatively early short story by George R.R. Martin has helped that vision in some way. Martin or screenwriter Constantin Werner or some combination of both has blended together steampunk-style science fiction, the plot of an old-fashioned Western, fantasy elements that include witches and shapeshifters, and end-of-the-world politics that involve a battle between supreme leader and a rabid cult of religious zealots. With all of that at play, the movie certainly doesn't make a lick of sense, but it'd be tough to accuse the material of being boring.

That counts for something here, even if director Paul W.S. Anderson seems too hesitant to really embrace just how gonzo some of this—well, honestly, most of it—can be. Sure, the movie and its characters wink at us on occasion, including an introduction that has our hero literally smile and chuckle right down the lens of the camera. We're left to wonder, though, if it really does have a sense of humor about itself or if we're just projecting our understanding of its weirdo qualities upon the movie.

Our grinning and laughing hero is Boyce (Dave Bautista), a hunter in this ravaged future world, which was devastated by a war long ago in which fire rained from the sky. He'd like to tell us a story, if we have "the time and the stomach for it," about his adventures in the wilderness with a witch. Who could turn down an offer for that kind of tale?

The witch in question is Gray Alys (Milla Jovovich), who has the powers of hypnosis and assorted other ones that conveniently emerge whenever the plot requires them. Her introduction has her escaping soldiers of that religious sect, who are led by Ash (Arly Jover)—a fearsome warrior who is dressed and looks a bit like an apocalyptic Joan of Arc. She eventually sets out to hunt Gray Alys on a steam-powered train, with the front of the engine covered in spikes and a armed with a giant cannon that, unfortunately, is never used here.

We're getting ahead of the plot, obviously, but in a movie such as this, to talk about the plot is like discussing taxes in bed with a lover. The plot here is wholly routine. The real potential for fun is right next to it.

Those basics, though, have Gray Alys and Boyce teaming up, after the witch, who cannot turn down a request to grant a wish, has a clandestine meeting with Queen Melange (Amara Okereke). She asks Gray Alys to make her a shapeshifter, while Jerais (Simon Lööf), the head of the royal guard who also holds a flame for the queen, requests that the witch grant his witch that Melange's wish fails. Again, it's best not to think of the logic—or, better, the lack thereof—of those conflicting wishes, just as it's probably better to ignore that the movie provides a countdown to the next full moon well before the screenplay establishes why that lunar event matters to the plot.

Instead, we watch as Boyce—dressed like a cowboy, packing a pair of six-shooters, hiding a two-headed snake as a trap for anyone who tries to steal his rifle—and Gray Alys travel this world to find Skull River, which is literally a river of skulls leading to a ferocious shapeshifter's cavern. The journey takes them to assorted locales, presented on a hand-drawn map and almost all of them drenched in a yellowish fog, or perhaps, it's best to think of them like levels in a video game. The two battle Ash and her soldiers (even though avoiding train tracks would almost certainly eliminate that threat), demonic beasts occupying an abandoned nuclear power plant, and, eventually, the shapeshifter itself (although the logistics of that fight are quite different in terms of who's fighting whom).

As he usually does as a better actor than his genre-heavy résumé might suggest, Bautista knows exactly what he's supposed to do here, playing the hero of his character's own Western yarn with equal parts sincerity and tongue-in-cheek charm. Jovovich's performance has an otherworldly remove that makes sense but also makes the wish-granting witch less interesting than the character should be. Meanwhile, the villains, particularly cult leader Johan (Fraser James), yell and spray spit toward their co-stars and the camera as they should in this kind of material.

There's all of this, yes, but on the other hand, In the Lost Lands constantly teeters between several qualities and detriments. It's distinct in its vision, while also being entirely formulaic. Its look is cohesive, although it sometimes looks a bit too cheaply made, downright ugly, or, when certain visual effects come into play, unconvincing. Most notably, the move is silly, to be sure and to use an understatement, but while it's easy to appreciate that within the context of everything going on in this story, it's difficult to determine if the movie itself recognizes just how silly it actually is.

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