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FIRST SHIFT

0.5 Star (out of 4)

Director: Uwe Boll

Cast: Gino Anthony Pesi, Kristen Renton, Garry Pastore, James McMenamin, Willie C. Carptenter, Brandi Bravo, Daniel Sauli, Tia Dionne Hodge

MPAA Rating: Not rated

Running Time: 1:29

Release Date: 8/30/24 (limited; digital & on-demand)


First Shift, Quiver Distribution

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Review by Mark Dujsik | August 29, 2024

Even with something as simple as a cop drama about a pair of mismatched partners, writer/director Uwe Boll doesn't seem to comprehend the basics of storytelling. First Shift is something of a return for the notoriously incompetent filmmaker, after being relegated to direct-to-video projects (seemingly sequels to his failed theatrical releases for the most part), and there's maybe a little comfort in seeing that at least one thing in this uncertain world remains constant. This guy doesn't know what he's doing.

Boll clearly thinks he does, if the disjointed plot of this movie is any indication. The premise puts veteran New York City homicide detective Deo (Gino Anthony Pesi) with a new partner who has transferred from Atlanta. Deo, of course, isn't exactly a common name, but note that his rookie partner is named Angela (Kristen Renton). The veteran cop points out that his name means "god," which lets the partner announce that her name means "angel."

This isn't important, except that it results in the two of them joking about how silly but appropriate their names and unlikely partnership is, with one of them explicitly saying you couldn't make up something like this. Boll did, obviously, which defeats the gag, and if he's trying to say something about philosophy or theology with these characters' attitudes and relationships, perhaps he's saving it for the sequel.

Yes, that's promised at the end of this thing, even though all of the various plot threads—most of which seem or are entirely unrelated to the cops' first day as partners—are resolved with little or no effort on the part of our protagonists. One involves a double murder, perpetrated by a couple of henchmen loyal to a big-time gangster, and another has a man (played by James McMenamin) locked up in a bathroom, while a woman pounds on the door demanding that he explain what he has done.

What do the cops have to do with either of these? Well, the first one lets Deo very casually and ineffectively look around the crime scene as if he's visiting an art gallery featuring an artist whose work he doesn't like. The second is so contrived that it almost feels embarrassing to say what it is. Thankfully, we don't learn how the cowering man in the bathroom connects to the cops until the last stretch of the movie, so that's a good reason not to reveal just how dumb it is.

Most of the story is focused on the relationship between the new partners. Deo is a loner, which we know from a lengthy prologue that shows his morning routine in excruciating detail (He mixes himself some kind of powered breakfast drink in a blender at one point, and as if that's enough minutiae, Boll ensures that we watch him wash the glass after the character finishes it). We also get to watch him be told that by his commanding officer (played by Tia Dionne Hodge), who thinks Deo having a partner might brighten his spirits. She also hints that a romance might blossom, which feels like a very odd thing for a boss to tell her employee generally and specifically to a guy as antisocial as Deo.

It doesn't make him happy, of course, because Deo wants to stay behind a desk, and Angela's a cheery woman who likes getting to know people and recording videos for her social media account. The two bicker a lot about her online habits and traffic and city pride and gluten.

The closest they get to any action comes in a scene in which a man with a meat cleaver has injured someone, threatens some surrounding cops, and cuts himself. Angela saves the day, despite Deo having told her to stay back—not because she's a rookie, but because she's a woman. Deo seems to come up on top of the resulting argument about sexism, which is an interesting choice after he witnesses first-hand what this woman accomplishes that his lackadaisical inaction couldn't.

That's pretty much the end of the cops doing anything, except for Deo retrieving the dog of an older man (played by Willie C. Carpenter) who suffers some kind of medical crisis in a grocery store. Deo isn't so callous, see, and as two people are threatened and executed by the two gangsters and the story of the man in the bathroom is revealed, the two cops try to figure out what to do with the dog, have lunch, and bicker some more, albeit with a little more mutual respect.

All of this occurs in starts and stops, as well as with no obvious logical or thematic purpose. Boll is back with First Shift, and no god or angel can save us, because they're too busy doing a whole lot of nothing, apparently.

Copyright © 2024 by Mark Dujsik. All rights reserved.

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