ARGYLLE - Mark Reviews Movies

Argylle, Universal Pictures

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Review by Mark Dujsik | February 1, 2024

Is the joke that real-life spycraft is as clichéd as a throwaway airport novel on the subject? Is it that the fantasy of a debonair spy who can do everything with ease and offer a cheesy one-liner after doing it is only that—a fantasy? Is it something else entirely, or has director Matthew Vaughn just made an unfocused, cheap-looking action comedy and tried to make everything so silly that we'll believe it's intentional? Is the real joke of Argylle on us?

It's almost fascinating how this movie, written by Jason Fuchs, takes a fairly clever premise and somehow does just about everything wrong with it. For one thing, the screenplay is doing far too much with a straightforward and self-referential setup, bringing in an abundance of plotting that requires a few perspectives, the blending of fact and fiction, and an entire shift of multiple elements following a twist for the plot to make even as little sense as it does. For another, nothing about those developments is as clever or amusing as the conceit that starts the story. That's not saying much, either, because the main idea—at first, at least—is something right out of the playbook for formula.

The gimmick involves Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), the author of a popular series of spy novels (Don't even attempt to reconcile this vital detail about her character with the most important revelation of the plot, because it's obvious Fuchs didn't consider an attempt, either). They're focused on the charming Agent Argylle. In a prologue, we meet that spy, played by Henry Cavill in what might be the most blatant and discouraging unofficial audition to take over as the most famous of fictional British spies. It's not encouraging for this movie, either, especially since Argylle, whose adventures must be pretty dull once we realize the foundation of Elly's stories, is a bit more than some protagonist on the page.

He's also in Elly's mind, giving her advice and words of inspiration as soon as the author finds herself caught up in some spy stuff of her own. We're getting a bit ahead of the plot here, although that's fine. The screenplay mainly forces us to wonder what's going to come next. That's not out of excited anticipation but more out of wondering if the filmmakers are going to get to the point already.

As it turns out, Elly's stories match up almost perfectly with the real world of a super-secret spy organization and its recent turmoil. While on a train to visit her parents, Elly is approached by Aidan (Sam Rockwell), who eventually points out that he's a real spy and some really bad guys are trying to abduct her on account of the real-world knowledge she somehow is able to imagine for her books. There's nothing new about this setup, as the skilled Aidan and the terrified Elly are forced to team up, get into some trouble, crack a few jokes, and bond together over their experiences.

Here, it does have the benefit of Rockwell's spy, who possesses just enough off-kilter charm to make the character funny, and Howard's author, who really does seem lost amidst and horrified by all of the bloodless carnage on display in front of her. Yes, we've seen this story too many times to count (It seems more frequent as of late, too), but much of the success of material like this depends on the actors performing it. Rockwell and Howard might have pulled it off, if only that was the end of the conceit.

Instead, the resulting movie is a mess of a globe-trotting scavenger hunt for a MacGuffin, featuring a collection of supporting actors—including Bryan Cranston, Catherine O'Hara, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, and a laughably disposed-of Ariana DeBose—who seem to be looking for where to collect the paycheck after shooting for as little as they're given to do. It's all building to a twist, which Vaughn and Fuchs more or less telegraph with a couple of visual and narrative flourishes too many. That element only makes a little more sense than the action-packed third act, where the filmmakers seem to believe bright colors, dancing, and some nonsense involving brainwashing and figure skating (That's not how oil works, by the way) will distract from how intrinsically predictable and repetitive the beats actually are.

All the while, Vaughn overcompensates for the convoluted plot and an overly ambitious psychological angle by making certain we know that he knows it's so very, very silly. Argylle is so ridiculous, in fact, that it's never clear what the joke of it actually is supposed to be.

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